


Recovering

by Mswriter07



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-16
Updated: 2011-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-23 19:25:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/254008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mswriter07/pseuds/Mswriter07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 6, Ryan coming to terms with Cyril's execution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recovering

**Author's Note:**

> Not mine just taking them out to play.

The first thing Alonzo Torquemada noticed when he arrived in Oz was someone he watched on the outside Miguel Alvarez. He noticed the weariness that had seeped into his walk and he wasn’t nearly as cocky and confident as he used to be on the outside. He’d have to fix that. The second thing he noticed was the dancing him and a particular Irishman were doing.

After a few questions he found that the Irishman was Ryan O’ Reily and that he was ready to explode all over someone because he had just lost his brother. Miguel, it seemed, noticed before anyone and decided to help Ryan cope. Torquemada found the two in the gym; Ryan suited up boxing with Miguel holding the bag for him. The only noises in the room were Ryan’s growls and snapping at Miguel. Miguel kept his cool and kept encouraging him in English and Spanish.

Hearing footsteps Ryan swung around and saw Torquemada. Before he could stop himself he yelled, “Get out Alonzo!!”

He held his hand up in peace and said, “I just want to chat with you two. Maybe I can help you not have a breakdown.”

Ryan went to step forward but Miguel held him still. “Let go Alvarez.” Ryan whispered.

“No. Take a deep breath and let’s go back to the punching bag.”

“What if I want to box his head in?” Ryan continued pulling against Miguel’s hands.

“Then imagine the bag is him. Come on Ryan you don’t need to go to the hole so soon after Cyril’s death. You still have his funeral to go to.”

Ryan turned toward the bag and after a wild punch fell to his knees. Torquemada didn’t realize the volatility of the situation until then and left the gym quickly. Ryan wrapped his arms around Miguel’s legs and held him close. “Miguel what am I going to do?” Ryan cried.

Miguel stroked Ryan’s hair and shushed him. When Ryan let go of his legs, Miguel fell to his knees too and helped Ryan out of his gloves. Ryan wrapped his body around Miguel and cried into his shoulder. A few minutes later Murphy and Sister Pete came into the gym. They saw the two wrapped together with Ryan’s sobs shaking them. Miguel kept one of his hands on the back of Ryan’s head and the other rubbing his back.

Sister Pete looked at the two and said, “Oh Ryan.” She went to walk over to the two and was stopped by Miguel.

“No Sister. He needs this.” Then he looked at Murphy and asked, “Any way I can get a pod switch?”

Ryan raised his head and looked at Murphy for a moment. He rasped out, “Please Murphy.” Then he buried his face against Miguel’s chest with fresh tears.

“I’ll try. Sister stay with them.”

“Sure. Go on Sean.”

Miguel looked at Ryan and said, “Let’s lean against the wall so I can hold you better.”

“Okay.”

They moved against the wall and Miguel sat with his knees bent so Ryan could fit between and lay against his chest. Ryan kept his face hidden from Sister Pete and just let Miguel hold him. Sister Pete went into the restroom by the gym and got a few paper towels to bring back to Ryan. She walked over to Ryan and handed him the damp cloth. “Ryan everything will be okay……”

Miguel started to tell the Sister to be quiet but Ryan sat up and said, “Go away Sister. It’ll not be okay, it never was okay.” Ryan curled up around Miguel again and laid against his chest.

“Ryan can I ask you something?”

“What?” Ryan sniffled.

“Why Miguel? Why let him see you weak?”

“I’m not weak. I’m finally mourning Cyril.”

“Sister please leave Ryan alone.” Miguel asked quietly. Miguel’s hands never stopped rubbing and touching Ryan.

A few minutes later Tim and Sean came into the gym. “O’ Reily can you make it to your pod while Alvarez gets his things to move in with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on. Let’s get you to the bathroom to clean up.” Murphy said.

Ryan stood up and helped Miguel up. Miguel pulled Ryan into one more hug and said quietly in his ear, “I’ll help you for as long as you need me.”

“Always Miguel. I’ve always needed you.” Ryan pulled away and followed Murphy to the bathroom.

In the gym Tim looked at Miguel and asked, “What happened?”

“He’s mourning his brother finally. I knew he was going to have a breakdown.”

“So that’s why you’ve been staying close. Why? What’s in this for you?”

“He’s the closest I have to an ally in this hell hole. He’ll only see me as a little brother replacement but I don’t care.”

Ryan came back from the bathroom and walked over to Miguel with deadly accuracy and slammed him against the wall. Murphy went to pull them apart but Ryan held his hand up to stop him. Ryan looked in Miguel’s eyes and said, “You aren’t replacing Cyril! I might be mourning him now but I will kick your ass for putting yourself down and thinking you’re just an insignificant prick in this place! Now let’s go. We got shit to do.” Ryan grabbed Miguel’s hand and pulled him out of the gym.

Tim ran a hand over his head and said, “O’ Reily’s back.”

“Looks like it.” Sean chuckled. He was glad that Alvarez was watching after Ryan, maybe keeping bloodshed to a zero.

“Go get Suzanne if she’s still here. Ryan needs her here even if he doesn’t think he does.”

“All right.”

On the way back to his office, Tim looked over Em City and noticed that Ryan and Miguel were in their pod now and Miguel had Ryan in the plastic chair with his arms wrapped around Ryan’s shoulders from behind. He could tell Miguel was talking to Ryan and Ryan was trying to calm himself down. Tim decided to let them have what little privacy a pod could offer and went inside his office.

Sean found Suzanne in the lounge area talking to Gloria. She looked up and asked, “What’s wrong Sean?”

“Tim sent me to find you. Ryan needs you.”

“Did he send for me?”

“No but Tim sent me because Ryan has finally broken and he’s mourning Cyril.”

“Has Ryan hurt himself or anyone else?”

“No. Alvarez has been shadowing him since even before Cyril died. He can only do so much. Ryan needs you, his mother.”

“I’m coming.” Suzanne stood and went to follow Sean but turned to look at Gloria. “Do you want to come too?”

“I don’t think I should. Not in such a public setting as Em City."

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She left with Sean and they went to Em City.

“He’s up in his pod with Alvarez.” He pointed up the stairs at the end of the quad.

She walked through the quad and went up the stairs to Ryan’s pod. She felt the eyes of the other inmates but she knew they wouldn’t hurt her. She knocked lightly on the door and the two men jumped at the interruption. Miguel said something to Ryan and then went to let Suzanne inside the pod. He stepped outside and shut the door to give them privacy.

As he leaned against the railing in front of the pod he got a better look at the location and found he really liked this spot and would try not to fuck up his friendship with Ryan to lose it. Toby walked over to where Miguel was standing and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you know the front of your shirt is still soaked?”

“I haven’t really noticed. I wasn’t worried about that.”

“What were you worried about?”

“How the hell anybody survives in here."

“You’re not worried about that. You’re worried about O’ Reily.”

“Maybe I am but he’ll be okay in time.”

“What the hell set off his breakdown?”

“He was boxing and Alonzo decided to make an appearance in his bubble. It burst and so did Ryan.”

“How’d you get a pod switch?”

“Easy. You see anyone else who wants to take care of Ryan. No.”

Beecher said, “What else is going on? Why are you really following Ryan around? Sure he misses Cyril, I miss Chris, but he’s not known to cry about something for hours.”

Miguel turned towards Beecher and growled deep in his throat. He pinned Beecher against the railing and said, “Do NOT ever compare our situations! Cyril was executed by the state and you, yes you, killed Keller! Don’t mention one word about missing Keller to Ryan. I won’t hold him back.”

“That isn’t how the jury saw it.” Beecher smirked.

Miguel stepped away and said, “Get the hell out of here before I kick your ass.”

“You’re going to lose one of the few people that still talk to either of you pricks.”

“I’ll let Ryan decide that but you better watch your back.”

“You two don’t scare me.”

“Get the fuck away from us.”

Ryan noticed the scuffle and stepped out of the pod. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing Ryan. Just telling Beecher to fuck off.”

“What’d he do now?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“Tell him now Alvarez.” Beecher prodded.

“What does he want Miguel?” Ryan asked eyeing the two.

“He’s trying to hurt you Ryan.” Miguel replied.

“Can’t hurt anymore than I already do.” Ryan looked at Beecher and said, “If you’re trying to set me off with your whole ‘I miss Keller’ routine it won’t work. I don’t give a shit. Now just like Miguel said, go fuck off.” Then Ryan went back inside their pod where Suzanne was waiting patiently.

Beecher just shook his head and left to go downstairs. Miguel walked into the pod and Suzanne asked, “What did Tobias want?”

“Nothing ma. Just wanted to try and fuck with me.”

“Well what if I try to talk to him when he’s with Sister Pete?”

Ryan got off the bed and stood in front of his mother and growled, “Don’t meddle. This is crap you don’t want to get involved in.”

“Okay but let me know if you need my help with anything.”

“I will but I don’t want to see you getting hurt in this place.”

“I know baby but I don’t want to see you hurting either.”

“I’m going to hurt whether I want to or not ma. I’ll be good as new tomorrow.”

Suzanne hugged Ryan and said, “No you won’t but I won’t argue with you either.”

“Thanks.” He let go of Suzanne and sat next to Miguel.

Suzanne looked at the two men and asked, “May I ask what could be happening between you two?”

“I don’t know…” Miguel said.

“He’s taking care of me…” Ryan replied.

Suzanne smiled at their reactions and timing and said, “Whatever you two decide I’ll support you. Now I need to head back because it’s almost count. You know where to find me if you need me.”

“I know ma.”

She looked at Miguel and said, “You too Miguel. If you need anything.”

“Thanks Ms. Fitzgerald.”

“Call me Suzanne Miguel. I’ll see you guys later.” She kissed the tops of their heads and left the pod.

The next day Father Ray found Ryan in the kitchen during his work detail. He walked over and asked, “Can we go to my office for a short chat?”

“Sure. Whatever.” Ryan replied prepping the soup pot. Father Ray led Ryan to his office and stood by his small window. Ryan looked at Ray’s moves and asked, “What do you need to talk to me about? I haven’t killed anybody, hell I haven’t even caused an ounce of trouble in Em City. What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to talk to you about Cyril’s funeral tomorrow. If I can get Miguel on the bus with you would you want that?”

“How the hell can you do that? He isn’t family and the state wouldn’t see it as whatever they would see it as.”

“I could try and convince them that it would help you emotionally and just having that person there to understand would be nice. I know Suzanne would to an extent but Miguel knows you whether you want to admit it or not. He’s helped you with things he didn’t have to but did anyway.”

“I know Father and I appreciate what he has done for me. How can you convince the state in 12 hours that Miguel would be a good person to be my escort?”

“I don’t know but I’ll try. I’ll pull out everything I know and we’ll see if the state caves under any of them that would help you out.”

“Don’t lose your job over this Father. He’ll be here when I get back. It’ll give me something to look forward to.”

“Okay. I won’t but I’ll try to get him a spot by you.”

“I appreciate it Father. I’m going to go finish my work so I can go back to Em City.”

“I’ll let you know at dinner if Miguel can go with you or not.”

“That’s fine. Thank you for your help Father.”

“You’re welcome.”

The next afternoon after lunch Ryan was taken from Em City to change into an orange jumpsuit to show he was a ward of the state and then led to the bus to take him to his brother’s funeral. At the funeral he stood next to Suzanne and Murphy shadowed his movements. He also saw Shannon there as well. The funeral was short but meaningful and before they started to lower the casket Ryan placed a couple of Cyril’s favorite flowers on top and rested his hands on the casket as he said a silent prayer. Murphy led him back to the bus after that and they went back to Oz.

On the bus Murphy looked at Ryan and asked, “Why didn’t you cry?”

“Who says I haven’t already? Now leave me alone.” Ryan said looking out the window seeing the outside world for probably the last time in his life.

Once back in Oz Ryan went to his pod where Miguel was waiting and Ryan collapsed into his arms. His body couldn’t stop shaking from the sobs and Miguel helped him sit on his bunk. Miguel held him close while Ryan cried and wailed out his questions. Miguel just rubbed his back and whispered Spanish lullabies and soothing words. An hour later Ryan moved over to the toilet and puked the contents of his stomach.

Miguel moved to the floor by him and continued to rub his back and stroke his hair. When Ryan was finished he asked shaking, “Some water please?”

Miguel filled the small cup with cool water and sat back down next to him. “Here you go. Take it easy.”

“I know. Can I be alone for now?”

“Yeah. I’ll be outside the pod if you need anything.” Miguel stood up and kissed the top of his head. Miguel went outside and sat at the table to give Ryan some time to himself.

Alonzo walked up the stairs and sat next to Miguel at the table. “Is O’ Reily going to be okay?”

“He’ll be all right in time. Why the fuck do you care though?”

“Just know that you have allies in places you didn’t before.”

“Who?” Miguel asked looking out over the quad at the different tables.

“Me for one but there’s others who don’t want to be identified just yet. Let me know if you need assistance and I’ll get together with the others. Give O’ Reily my condolences for his brother.”

“I will.” Then Alonzo went back into the fray down in the quad. Miguel observed from the second floor.

At count the buzzer sounded and Miguel checked on Ryan and saw he was in his bunk asleep. He stood outside the door and Mineo and Murphy passed with their clipboards and Mineo said, “Alvarez he gets one pass today. Make sure he’s moving tomorrow.”

“Okay. Thank you Officer.” Then Miguel went inside his pod and laid on his bed.

A week later in their pod Ryan was pacing when Miguel shot his arm out and stopped him. “What the hell has you so anxious?”

“The usual bullshit.” Ryan lied.

“Yeah right. You’ve been pacing for three days.”

Ryan sat on his knees by Miguel’s bed and said, “This is what’s got me going nuts.” He yanked Miguel forward by his shirt and kissed him roughly. He stepped back letting Miguel go and started pacing again.

Miguel caught his breath and stopped Ryan’s pacing again and got out of his bed. He nudged Ryan into the corner and pressed his body against Ryan’s. “You feel it too?” Miguel whispered as he stroked Ryan’s face and neck.

“Yes.” Ryan replied honestly looking into Miguel’s warm eyes.

“Let’s try that kiss again then.” Miguel stroked the back of Ryan’s neck and leaned in to kiss him gently. He kept his kisses light and teasing, just playful pecks until Ryan gripped his head and pushed his tongue into Miguel’s mouth. He kept the kiss deep and Miguel’s body against his own. Miguel returned the kiss and nipped at Ryan’s lips as he moved his kisses down Ryan’s throat.

“Oh…feels good Miguel.” Ryan groaned.

“You feel really good.” Miguel whispered as he unbuttoned Ryan’s shirt and ran his hands over his chest before he lapped Ryan’s left nipple.

“Fuck!” Ryan moaned as he clenched at Miguel’s arms.

Miguel moved his mouth back up to Ryan’s and started a slow passionate kiss as his hands stroked Ryan’s sides. Ryan loosened his grip and used one hand to cup the back of his head and the other wrapped Miguel’s waist pulling him flush against his body. “Jesus Ryan.” Miguel gasped feeling their erections rub against the other. Ryan held Miguel and caught his breath. He chuckled, “Who would’ve thought we’d want to fuck each other.”  
“We only touch each other.”

“I wasn’t planning on touching any other person in this place. Only you baby.” Then Ryan kissed Miguel again and moved his hand down to rub Miguel through his jeans.

Miguel moaned and breathed, “I’ve kissed a lot of women but you top the list. Damn baby.”

“You too.” Ryan said looking into Miguel’s eyes as he rubbed in firmer strokes against the jeans. Miguel joined Ryan by rubbing his erection through Ryan’s kitchen whites. “Fuck.”

The buzzer for count sounded and the two jumped apart. “Why man?” Miguel groused. He took a deep breath and readjusted his pants. He looked at Ryan and saw the look of disbelief. “We’ll finish in a few minutes. I’m not thrilled either.”

“I know. I was just able to forget for a minute where we were.”

“Come on.”

The two stepped outside the pod and leaned against the glass. Miguel glanced around the area and saw Toby glaring at them. He ignored Toby and continued along the line. To him it looked like no one was paying him and Ryan any attention whatsoever. The two were locked away and Ryan sat on Miguel’s bed. He fiddled with his fingers and said, “Thank you for helping me.”

“You’re welcome baby. People don’t see when shit’s changing.”

“Not really. I’ve done enough that whatever they’re doing is somehow in one of my mechanizations.”

“We just need to think and watch and find out what’s going on so we can stay on top.”

“We will. Now can we get back to what the buzzer so rudely interrupted us from?”

“Sure baby.”

 

Finis


End file.
